From his autobiography, “The Full Harvest“:
Churches do not give a married minister two salaries, one for the husband and the other for the wife; but, in many cases, they look for the services of the wife, whether they pay for them or not.
The Pastor’s wife is expected to know everything about the church, and in another sense she is to know nothing of it; and she is equally blamed by some people whether she knows everything or nothing. Her duties consist in being always at home to attend to her husband and her family, and being always out, visiting other people, and doing all sorts of things for the whole church!
Well, of course, that is impossible; she cannot be at everybody’s beck and call, and she cannot expect to please everybody. Her husband cannot do that, and I think he is very foolish if he tries to do it; and I am certain that, as the husband cannot please everybody, neither can the wife. There will be sure to be somebody or other who will be displeased, especially if that somebody had herself half hoped to be the minister’s wife!
Difficulties arise continually, in the best-regulated churches; and the position of the minister’s wife is always a very trying one. Still, I think, that if I was a Christian young woman, I would marry a Christian minister if I could, because there is an opportunity of doing so much good in helping him in his service for Christ.
It is a great assistance to the cause of God to keep the minister himself in good order for his work. It is his wife’s duty to see that he is not uncomfortable at home; for, if everything there is happy, and free from care, he can give all his thoughts to his preparation for the pulpit; and the godly woman, who thus helps her husband to preach better, is herself a preacher though she never speaks in public, and she becomes to the highest degree useful to that portion of the Church of Christ which is committed to her husband’s charge’.
I couldn’t agree more with this!
I thank God that we belong to a church that isn’t too demanding when it comes to the expectations placed on Pastor’s wives, but bloody hell, it can be tough for them!
My wonderful wife Renee expressed her exasperation recently, “I just don’t know what my job is (at church)!” I was quick to tell her that she didn’t have a job at church – just a calling to be my helper.
I wonder if some churches (not yours or mine!) deliberately make the role of Pastor’s wife ambiguous because it means that they can load the lady up with more duties than they would otherwise get away with…?
Spurgeon: He’s the Man.
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